Janto speechIanto writes a diary entry about Jack
by Yanny Harkness Jones
Summary: Ianto tells his true thoughts and feeling on the one guy who he truely adores.   written for cosplay


ONLY JACK

**((this was made for cosplay))**

**He was there, he was always there. He once said he came back for the team, I know he meant me.**

**When your with Jack, you never know what he's expecting from you because he never says, he never really says much, I guess it's better that way, I can tell there's so many things eating away from inside of him. You would think he would want to tell someone, **

**Someone like me, I know I would tell him if I had things on my mind.**

**I know he's been around for some time now and he says he's not lonely, but at times he will sit there staring at the wall, I will look at him and just wonder.**

**Every day goes by like flies getting trapped in a spiders death web, and Jack goes through the day like everything is okay, in his head, I know its not, I can always tell with Jack, he will stare away, and even if you call his name he won't hear you.**

**Its like everything is closing up on him but only he notices, he wants to ask for help, but he knows he can't. **

**I will ask if he's feeling okay, but he always says the usual.**

**I wonder if he ever feels like he's being trapped in a black hole, and his fear stands tall,**

**Maybe he's trying to find a way out, and has almost reached the pathway, or maybe he's getting pulled back in.**

**I will never know, he doesn't tell me anything that he thinks isn't important.**

**The cold air creeps up on Jack when he's not looking, he's afraid, but he doesn't show the fear.**

**His lonely past echoes around him, the regrets and the guilt flows through his face.**

**Voices call for him, he tries to walk away, but never gets far and still never looks back at what he's leaving behind,**

**The shadows follow him around the Hub but he ignores, he always ignores. Like he ignores me when I don't agree on something that he has done wrong, but he will still agree it was for the best.**

**Sometimes I wonder why he hides all these secrets from me, is it to protect me, or maybe he just wants to forget them.**

**When he went off with the Doctor I honestly thought I wouldn't see him again, I thought he would move on, forget me, pretend I didn't exist. He came back, Gwen of course wasn't impressed, me though, I was just glad he was back, back here with me.**

**I cant bare to live a single second of my life without him, I wouldn't be able to. **

**I would beg him too stay with me, I wouldn't be able to let him go, I wouldn't be able to work without seeing his face just once everyday, he keeps the team going, he keeps me going.**

**He will always be mine, mine for the world, the universe. I wonder how he feels for me, he has never told me how he actually feels about me but then again I have never really told how I feel for him. I wonder if he's thinking about me right now, maybe he isn't, maybe he's thinking of the one they call John. I know they had a past and Jack tells me he isn't important to him, that I am that mattered to him, but in every meaning should you really forget your past loved ones, I wouldn't but then, I know I couldn't, the people I have loved will be cherished forever, for eternity, till the day I die I will love them, the ones I named my family and friends.**

**I never really thought I would meet someone like Jack, someone so different, so dark and wondeful, I'm not gay, its only him, and only will be him. I shall never go for another, not even if Jack was to leave my side, not after Lisa, losing her was making me lose the will to live, once Jack came for me, my dark and noble prince, he saved me, he saved me from the evil dragon, he pulled me away from the darkness that covered me, and took me by my hand and told me I was his Ianto Jones, his coffee-boy, his perfect man in a good looking suit, he told me that he would be there for me until the day I die, he promised me that. But everyone that knows jack will know he struggles on keeping promises, keeping himself calm, keeping the smile on his face continue.**

**I know Jack will never read this, never read this till I'm gone, not because I'm ashamed but because I love him, and I will always love him, and I'm sure he already knows all of this by now anyway. **

**Yours, Ianto Jones-Harkness (**_**yanny harkness jones**_**) x**


End file.
